So this coming Sunday is my birthday. My friends are more excited about it than I am..as usual. Seriously speaking, I never get excited on my birthday, my debut is counted. I don't know why I don't get hyped by the essence of "birthday" like normal people do. Aside from the reason that quote "I do not want to get old"; its just that I had..well some bad birthdays from the past and every time my birthday is approaching I always get anxious that it will happen again..and I will cry..and just let the day pass blah blah blah. Sometimes I get jealous to those people having a count down to their birthday every year unlike me who just want to let thy birthday pass. Maybe that's why I don't like surprise on my birthday because it reminds me that it is my birthday, and every time I think about my birthday, all those sad events during my birthdays in the past flashbacks. AND IT SUCKS. Sometimes I ask myself.. I am sick or something? Should a hire a psychologist? Haha.
In contrast, I love to show my friends that they are loved; that they are special on their special day. I remember my friend told me once: "Ayette ano kayang magandang surprise o gift sa birthday ni toot?" Me: "Oh bat ako tinatanong mo?" Her: "Eh ikaw ang mataba ang utak pag dating sa ganito eh" :">
I've been thinking lately on what should I do on that day. I wanted to make people happy and this crazy idea of reaching out to poor children is beyond cray cray! Seriously! I ain't running for city mayor or congresswoman believe me! Haha I just wanted to know how it feels like to help, to bring joy to give hope, etc. I want to brighten up someone's day even if I can't brighten up my own. I'm so deep mehn. hahaha. I wonder who could've help me to make this possible. I'm still deciding whether to get help from my college or elementary friends haha.
I'M SERIOUS ABOUT THIS. Yup, I'm so weird -.-
I'll keep you posted!,